Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize