get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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