Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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