You're completely useless in the revolution.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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