if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
