i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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