I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
