dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
