btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
