Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Randomize
