You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
