So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
