People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
