problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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