I wish my penis had an off switch
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
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