I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
