it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
