That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize