More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
