My underwear smells like fireworks.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
