did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
