Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Randomize