and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
