This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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