I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
