She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
