Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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