Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
