Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
