This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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