I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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