I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
