You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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