He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
And then my night got REAL pukey
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize