I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
