What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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