Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
