As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
