The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
