Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
50% drunk capacity currently
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
