How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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