If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
