We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
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