no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
His nipple licking is glorious
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