She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize