No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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