Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
