Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
