Will you blow on my dice?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
