hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
