he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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