If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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