yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize