it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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