the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
