either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Oh god it's open bar.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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