Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
