Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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