don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize
