she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize