I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
