i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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