i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Randomize
