I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
